Why is it that we put males and females into stereotypes that are never broad or dynamic enough to fit a single individual? Have you ever met a man solely interested in sports or beer…and that’s it? What about a woman only concerned with household duties and soap operas? Truth is, we’re all a little bit gender confused.
Why is it that I hear people, men in particular, expressing the opinion that the loss of familial bonding and general wholesomeness is a result of women entering into the workplace? Is it a gender bias of mine to feel women have a right to work? Why do we chain them to the home and the upbringing of the children? Last time I checked, reproduction was a multiple person process, and to have parents is plural. Even though women have been daring to step outside their homes and into professional occupations for decades, they still on average receive a substantial percentage less than men in salaries for the same jobs.
Why are men and women perceived to be so unequal? You never hear people saying he’s good…for a guy, or he’s as good as a girl. So why is it that you’ll hear people saying girls that are good at sports are only good in regards to their gender and not as a general athlete, or that their good enough to play with the guys, as though on average they aren’t? Why is it that a spectacular female athlete must be man?
In an online article, there was a dispute over the gender of a South African track competitor that won gold in the 800m World Athletics Championship. In this article (the link is above), the only explanation for these accusations was her talent. They cited no other reasons for their questioning of her gender, other than their surprise at her shattering the record by a whole second and her muscular physique. Apparently girls can’t work out now …and not a single other competitor was considered very muscular. This eighteen-year-old track star must now undergo a comprehensive gender assessment process and suffer this humiliation, solely because of her success. Not all women that love sports and are shockingly, actually good at them (you know, only for a girl), are unobjectionably a man. Is it so difficult to believe that a woman can be just as good as a man at sports?
Is it a radical concept, women being equal to men? Apparently.
However, you’ll never witness me saying men are to blame. I’m not quite that radical. They’re usually just on the receiving end of our enraged objections because they are considered to have the advantage of the situation. But do they?
If we are so attuned to female struggles and injustices, are we equally as blinded to that of the men?
Men feel the overwhelming pressure to be the provider of the household. In this society, the burden has never been placed on the woman. Men are expected to make the money, while women are expected to maintain the household and tend to the children. Even in modern times, you can encounter a woman attending college to get her M.R.S. (Mrs. Degree), to meet a husband rather than prepare herself for a job. For women, there isn’t that expectation, that pressure to provide the income.
Boys don’t get it too easy, ladies. Think about it in their perspective. Boys are teased by their peers, girls and boys alike, if they don’t express those masculine qualities our society has burdened them with unyieldingly. Not all women love cleaning and children; isn’t it just as likely not all men enjoy sports or fighting? Its unhealthy to encourage men to keep their emotions stifled under the surface, just because its considered “feminine” to express your feelings. Parents are tormented by the idea of their son choosing a Barbie over a G.I. Joe, not always because they’ve been conditioned into thinking that’s an inappropriate choice for a boy, but they also know what others will think or how they’ll react. Weaker, frail boys are usually the targets of teasing. That’s not how boys are supposed to be. But why are any of us supposed to be any way in particular?
We should just allow them to be.
What is all this gender stereotyping teaching little boys and girls? How much of our unfair expectations are forcing them into changing their yet unaltered opinions, hobbies and themselves. Instead of polarizing the sexes, we should promote androgyny, allowing for a well-rounded society of people not limited to the constraints of their gender.
My advice? Don’t be afraid to get confused.
First off Alicia, great first post! I agree with you in many aspects of you're blog, except one erroneous point. The woman in the 800m is being gender tested because her bone structure is resemblant to that of a man, along with her surprisingly deep voice and physique. Because of all of this, they world track authorities do not think she should be competing with other women. She does not meet the criteria for a female athlete and if she does not pass this test, she will either compete with men or not compete at all.
ReplyDeleteAside from that point, I was most interested in the introduction of how much pressure there is on men to be...well...manly. You made a very interesting point on how men are constantly pressured to live up to these expectations. It is very interesting to see how women are expected to be one way and men another. Perhaps we are a little "gender confused", but I think it is just because of how old these stereotypes are. It is very hard to try and destroy such thoughts from our minds because those images come so naturally to so many people. All in all, great blog Alicia.
I have just one question about the female runner's situation: Did the South African officials ever do a steroids test on her? It does not say anything about that in the article but I remembering watching a video in a physical education class last year about steroids that are hard to detect that can make female's voices drop lower and make their body look more like a man's than a typical woman's. I bet they probably did a test.. but I was just throwing that out there..
ReplyDeleteI agree with your thoughts about how men and women are supposed to fit into a certain "stereotype". Men are supposed to be bigger, stronger, faster, and a "manly man". While women are supposed to be dainty, a housewife, love raising kids, not overweight, and pretty. Most of the men and women I know do not fit into those two categories. I believe if people begin to start breaking out of their stereotypes and showing society that it is okay to be their own individual, more people will become their own person. We have already seen it start to begin. Examples: feminism, human rights committees, and even gay marriage is being legalized in more and more states. Once people start to break out a little more and show how men and women can fit into different categories, society will become more accepting of differences especially at this time in history where everything is evolving so rapidly.
Although I agree that much of what is said in this blog is true, I also want to point out that these stereotypes on what is "manly" and what is "feminine" are so strong in today's society because the majority of men and women practically reinforce them. While there are those men and women who rightfully try to break down these gender stereotypes, there are those who do nothing but make them stronger. After all, when a guy is teased by his friends for doing something of a more "feminine" nature, does he usually defend his actions, or will he laugh it off, embarrassed that he did something to lower his "masculinity" in the eyes of his peers. And when a girl is hanging around with a guy she might like, does she want to come off as dainty and delicate? or stronger and tougher? These stereotypes aren't going to go away on their own, no matter how many times women prove themselves to be just as capable as men, or how many times men show that they can succeed in the careers that are usually considered "womanly."
ReplyDeleteI agree with the fact that many mothers feel the pressure to stay home and take care of their families; however, I have to disagree with the notion that most men feel a greater pressure to provide for their families. I believe that both parts of the relationship provide for the family in different aspects. I also feel that the high rise in divorce rates in America have put a lot more pressure on both parties. Men then face the pressure that a good portion of their money will go to their ex-wives and children. But in the same regard, women have to provide most care alone for children, and usually must get a job to support herself. Therefore, I believe that it is wrong to say that, "Men feel the overwhelming pressure to be the provider of the household. In this society, the burden has never been placed on the woman." I feel that especially today, the burden has been placed on the women. Not to mention the fact that many women are being forced to go back to work while their husbands are out of work. While I do disagree with some aspects of this blog, I don't disagree that there have been prevalent stereotypes for women and men, but they are not nearly as visiblet as this blog makes them sound.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel like, stereotypes as a whole, are cruel barriers that need to be broken down. Regardless if your male or female, or whatever your ethnicity, you are capable of anything and it's more or less your drive and ambition to do things. Anyone can say a woman's place, as you said, is to watch soap opera's and actively do household chores, but only that person has the power to give themselves a label. That individual is the one who decides what they find suitable for their lifestyle. Granted, there are very well men who love beer and sports, but there's also much more to those people than just beer and sports. Everyone has intricate personalities and aspirations.
ReplyDeleteAnywhere you come from there are millions of stereotypes. I feel people often have the notion that someone who is of spanish/latin decent is illegal, or can't speak english. Who is anyone to make an assumption such as that? That person could be the most intelligent, and well rounded person you'd ever meet.
I feel that stereotypes are huge contributor of why people, especially as we've seen in high school days, form into cliques. Stereotypes most definitely prevent some people from interacting with each other. If people could ever get over the practice of using stereotypes, there would be a lot more peace and a stronger sense of equality.
Alicia, I don't feel that there is alot of gender issues in today's society. There are men that stay at home with the kids, and women that go out into the workplace to provide for their family. As far as the runner goes, I'm all for the test as long as it reveals the truth. You'd be surprised as to how far some people would go to excell in a particular sport. If she happens to be a women then so be it, but if we never test her/him then we will never know for sure. The runner is absolutely shattering previous records so I personally feel like something isn't right. I guess we will just have to wait for the results...
ReplyDeleteto add to my previous comment, you also talked about how women are treated like they aren't equal to men in sports. In the NBA, most of the people can dunk on the regulation basketball hoop, however in the WNBA (the women's league) there are only a handful of ladies that can dunk. Now I didn't say that to be sexist or anything but that example does show that probably due to either bone structure, testosterone, or even muscle structure guys (as a whole) are better than girls at sports.
ReplyDeleteI agree that society believes that men are the moneymakers, while the women are the homemakers. However, this notion has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years that it's a natural belief. In one way or another, we are all brought up with the idea of "stereotypes". For instance, these notions are introduced at the time of birth. The baby girl is brought out in a pink blanket whilst the boy has a blue one. Blue is a boy color, pink is a girl color. It's just the way it is. Another instance, young boys do not help mom with the laundry. Instead, they help dad with mowing the lawn or doing other yard work. Laundry and cleaning is a “feminine” chore. The notion is self-perpetuating. It's always there.
ReplyDeleteOur society has these rigid stereotypes that only allow people to have certain qualities and act in certain ways. Men work in the workplace, while women stay home with the children. As Brittney said, the world is slowly evolving and the way of life is breaking free from those old stereotypes. Women are starting to come out of the box that society placed them in so many years ago.
I agree that much of what is said in the blog does happen in our every day life. People are influenced by their surroundings and fall into these gender stereotypes. Like Alicia said, many women fall into place as a housewife, and men become the providers. But there are so many people who actually grow up aspiring to be housewives and want to just raise multiple children. Many guys dream of being that "hard working man" who "brings home the bacon." These people don't necessarily feel forced into these positions. They don't do it because they were influenced, but because it's what they like. Some men want to work with their hands, get dirty, and are just naturally what we call "masculine" while some women are passionate about cooking, keeping a clean house and raising children. Yes, every woman does have the right to go out into the business world and work and no one should feel "chained" to their job, but at the same time they shouldn't feel bad if what they enjoy makes them part of a stereotype. We are all very much in control of how we want to be percieved...not always...but a lot of the time. In today's day and age...if you don't want to be seen as the "subserviant housewife" you don't have to be. Everyone has their own likes, dislikes, goals, and aspirations. The key is to be true to who you are...and if you are doing what you love then it shouldn't really matter what others think about you.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who tends to avoid gender issues, I was pleasantly surprised when I read your blog post. I found myself intrigued by the points that you brought up. Not only did you tie your post into current events, but also to your real life experiences. Your section about women and sports really hit home with me. I was playing in a co-ed soccer league last winter and was treated differently on the field just because I was a girl. The other team purposely went after me (maybe because I was playing better then they were).
ReplyDeleteI also found your blog very fair. You didn't just focus on the gender issues of women. Instead you also brought up gender issues that occur in regards to men
Overall, I really, really enjoyed hearing your point of view. Good work Alicia :]
When it comes to gender disputes I have a hard time saying one side has more valid points than the other. I think you did a great job of highlighting the issues for both males and females.
ReplyDeleteI have loved sports all my life and as a female I have been told boys will always be better than me. However, rather than succumb to this claim I played soccer with boys throughout my childhood because I took it as a challenge. Eventually, I did have to play with only girls but that was because, as a fact of life, the boys became physically bigger and stronger than me.
To me though that does not make males better athletes just because males and females have different physical attributes. I always keep in mind a Gatorade commercial I saw growing up. It was the Michael Jordan vs. Mia Hamm commercial where they competed against each other with the song "Anything you can do" playing. It was always my motivation, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
I do feel that there are still some sorts of gender issues in our society, even today. However, I think it is natural and necessary for men and women to hold different positions in the big picture of the world. In Catholic school I was once taught that the body of society is made up of the men as the brain, and the women as the heart. This seemed far too old-fashioned for my taste, and frankly I think it is a little ridiculous. However, it is in my opinion necessary for women to take on the responsibilty of having children and taking care of homes frankly because that is what we are good at. I don't know about you, but I would be a little uneasy leaving my pet goldfish with my boyfriend for just a week without giving him any instructions. At the same token, I know my boyfriend would never trust me with changing the front tire of his Volvo in efforts to get us both home safely.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinon, men are men and women are women for a reason. We are different. We both bring different things to the table and we both contribute in our own unique ways to make the world go round.
For the record though, both men and women have a heart and a brain. The way we use them though, well that's where we differ.